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30 April 2020

Tales of a Ferret Owner: Spring Edition

Written by Sarah-Maree

This story comes from a warm spring day, one of the first ones we had after getting the ferrets. It comes some time after learning more of the ferrets’ habits and behavior, but hey, who said I was going to go chronologically? I know I certainly didn’t. Besides, this tale seemed appropriate for the season.

If you’re new to these ferret tales, be sure to enjoy the other short tales I’ve written about my time as a ferret owner. They’re all true, and they’re all a little odd. Owning ferrets is no simple task, and there’s never a dull moment.

Spring was in the air, literally. I was sneezing as my husband and I worked to trim the plant life around our house. Sure, we could’ve trimmed it in the fall after the first freeze, but we’re both procrastinators, so springtime trimming it was!

Now, before you go judging me, I just want to clarify that it was just my husband and I out in the yard. The ferrets were still safely, I assumed, indoors. Keeping them indoors meant they wouldn’t be snatched up by a hawk or go chasing down a stray cat to exert their dominance. Although, I’m sure they could’ve taken down the hawk. I just don’t think they’d have survived the fall. They really aren’t that bright, but they are that tenacious.

Anyway, there we were, working out in the yard. For what happened next, you have to understand that I wanted the ferrets to enjoy the outdoors. I often had the windows open for them on warm days so they could enjoy the fresh air and different scents. Since they can’t jump worth a darn, there was no fear of them leaping out an open window, no matter how much they tried. And yes. They did try. It’s rather cute seeing a ferret extended their full length as they gaze out a window. It’s even cuter watching their tiny paws work endlessly as they desperately try to lift their bulky form up. Ferrets have no upper body strength, at least not for that. They do make great diggers though, and that is a story for a different time.

So, there we were with the windows open and the patio door open with the screen in place. There we were just minding our own business when I just happened to look over. Erin and Teeka, no surprise to see that combo, were busy running back and forth along the entirety of the patio doors. Teeka was busy trying to explore the new terrain while Erin was busy trying to thwart her attempts by constantly getting under paw.

Well, that was the first thing I saw when I looked their way. The next time I looked, the two were snuffing and sticking their noses in the door’s track. I hated to think what bugs or dirt or other things had gotten into that spot, but they looked happy, if a bit ridiculous.

I do hate to admit this, but I forgot about the two of them for what was probably a minute in real time, but entirely too long in pet owner time. Then came a call from my husband as he caught sight of their newest shenanigans.

Teeka, tiny, delicate, and oh so fragile looking Teeka, was staring up at large, sagging, lumpy Erin as she sniffed at the TOP of the door. Seriously, gravity was unkind to Erin at the best of times. If Erin fell, Teeka was in danger of being smooshed and Erin was in danger of bouncing as Teeka nimbly avoided said smooshing. I panicked as Tango had also joined in on the fun and was nose deep in the very edge of the door’s track. If I opened the screen to save Erin from her inevitable fate, Tango would get a pinched nose, Teeka would likely bolt out, and Erin would probably fall spitefully on top of Tango as he attempted a retreat or else sneezed a whole bunch from having his nose pinched. No matter what scenario I imagined, they all had unhappy endings.

My husband was all for opening the door and letting them all learn their lesson, mostly I think because he believed they’d be alright and I was just being overprotective, but still! So harsh!

I probably paced in front of that door a good three or four times before I gave up. Tango refused to leave his investigation of the door’s innermost corner, Erin had taken to hanging on with three paws while the fourth pawed aggressively at the ceiling, and Teeka had, actually, I believe Teeka wandered off at this point. Either that or she had decided to make a go at climbing. I’m really not sure. I mean, she could be just as bad as Erin, but she could also see an opportunity to be free of her constant shadow, too.

Regardless of their continued or else new antics, I finally ran for the front of the house, opened the garage door, opened the door to the house, and ran for my furbabies. Tango was livid at being moved and immediately snuffed his nose right back into the crack. Erin immediately upon removal tried a go at climbing again, and I don’t remember what Teeka did. Like I said, she was either on the door, which I know she did at some point in our time together, or else she had run off to have some rare alone time. Whatever the case, she eventually took off, Erin noticed her absence and also took off, and then Tango eventually got his fill of snuffing dirty cracks.

All in all, it was a nice spring day.